MY HEART IS BREAKING

How could this be all that was

left of the car you were driving...

Dear God my heart hurts so badly

tonight...the memory and pain

of it all is just crushing the

very life breath out of me tonight.

I feel that I just cannot bear it.

I miss you so much...the pain

inside of me is unbearable...

It is smothering me....

I still cannot believe that horrible

accident really happened...

I cannot believe you are really

truly gone from us...my heart

won't believe it...it still seems

you are just away on a

road trip on your street bike...

back patio and there is your

bike and I weep and the

pain inside of me is unbearable...

We were such a close knit family...

like Charlotte told me the other

day...we had the perfect family

and then the accident had to

happen and ruined it all...

What are we going to do

without you Will??? Without

your radiant smile and your

crazy dances and your jokes

and just your being YOU???

Oh my dear God....

I can't do this...it is too hard...

the dreams...no they are

nightmares...are too real...

then I wake up and you are

not here in your bed...but

your bed is empty...your

room is still and silent...the

drums and bass guitar...the

keyboard lay still and untouched

just like you left them...oh the

silence hurts....sometimes I just

go and lay on your bed and

cry...I look at your instruments

and the silence is crushing...

My mother's heart is breaking

inside of me...I love you my

lil brown boy...I love you so

very much and I miss you with

my whole soul...I will never

ever be the same again...part

of me died with you...oh my

baby boy....what I wouldn't

give to have you back again

alive and whole and safe

and sound....why????

But I cannot question the

Almighty can I....my heart is

just hurting...I want to hold

my lil brown boy in my arms

again and get another

one of your "boy-hugs" again...

you were so big and strong....

dear God how I miss

you my sweet William....

Forever loving you,

Mumsy

xoxo to heaven