My Sweet William...mum tried to sleep all night long, but it was no use...all I could think of was today...and the four days that followed today three years ago. I cannot believe that it has been that long since that awful day...but I can remember the crushing agony of searching and waiting only to find the tragic accident and our only beloved son gone from us forever in a moment of time one cold, stormy December morning on your way to work...It is all still such a nightmare and so fresh in my mind...the pain...the deep profound heart hurt that will never go away...the senselessness of it all...the wondering why...the missing you more every day and the pain that seems more than our family can bear...Sure all of us, Dad, Charlotte and I try to put on a smile for you and try to make everything seem "normal"...but there is no such thing as normal anymore...and there won't be anymore. We still try though as hard as it is...but sometimes it is just too much to bear.Yes, We know you are in a much better place and that you would not want to come back to this messed up world even if you could, but that does not take away the hurt and pain and grief of losing you...especially in the horrible way that it happened. Only God knows why he took you that way...why he made us search for you for four days before you were found under the icy waters....oh, my William....my sweet lil brown boy...couldn't we have just had just a little more time with you? Just one more day? Just one more hug and kiss to tell you how much we loved you and how proud we were of you? Oh, I know we hugged and kissed you goodbye all the time and we always told you we loved you even on every phone call...but if we had just known it would be the last time...we would have never let you go I think...I would have held on so tight...Maybe that's why God does not let some of us know when the last time will be....others get the chance to say goodbye for the last time...I wonder why we didn't get to do that with you? It is just another thing that breaks my mother's heart...Has it really been three long years since you left us to be a family of three? Has it really been three long years since we last heard your laughter? Has it really been three long years since we saw your beautiful, radiant smile? Has it really been three long years since we last were able to give you a hug and tell you we loved you? Has it really been three long years since we last saw you give one of your crazy dances and made one of your crazy faces? Where has the time gone and yet it seems like an eternity...and everyday my heart breaks a little more.I miss you so much my William...More than I can say with just words...the deep heart-wrenching pain goes beyond what I can write down...it is something that is just lived day in and day out...that we try to bear knowing that someday...someday we can see you again...That is all that sustains us when the hurt is overwhelming. Dad misses his best buddie in the world...Charlotte misses you not just as a brother she says but as her best friend...you left such a gaping hole in all of our lives and we will miss you until we are reunited with you again in heaven...We love you with all of our hearts and souls...You have always been such a vital part of our family and you always will be...We miss you so much and wish we were all there with you already...Forever loving you...Mum and Dad xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo